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Thursday, June 9, 2011

Judgemental Handwriting Analysis

While reading about the most recent self destruction of Newt Gingrich I came across this image.


Supposedly Newt's campaign managers all quit because his wife Callista was a materialistic, meddling, superfreak who demanded they go on a greek vacation to take a break from the Presidential campaign that hasn't really started yet. This priority was dubbed the Greek Tragedy by Newt staff insiders.

Now, forget for a minute that Callista inspired Newt to leave divorce papers on the hospital bed of his previous wife.

And forget that her main claim to fame is banging a married Newt for six years while he fought to have Bill Clinton impeached.

And while we're at it, ignore that she used that thin resume of hers to become the President of Gingrich Productions, a company devoted to making award-winning, politically, religious propaganda.

Forget it! OK! Forget that she is the voice on all his audio books.

Let us instead focus on this shared signature.


Newt's way of writing his name is pretty straight forward, because he's your typical douchebag.

But look at Callista's creepy way of writing her name.

The "C" is massive and encompasses everything within it's wide reaching claw - except for the "a" which is allowed to reach outside of the ambitious "C's" well designed control to assert with feminine force that alpha is allowed to do what it pleases.

There is also a great deal of space, a gaping moat, between the "C" and the little uptight, constipated letters captured inside of the "C's" well constructed curvature. Nothing can touch the big important "C".

The flat serif at the beginning of the "C" shows how this big impressive "C" came from a blunt wall of nothing. The "C" came over the wall of that serif, to turn itself around and to take control of everything that defines it.

I think this all means that Newt is not going to be the Thrice Married King President Overlord of America like he always wanted to be.

Thursday, June 2, 2011

The Original Maniacs' Almanac

Originally appeared in the New York Waste when I was young and thought I mattered.
Take the time machine on your right (The Maniac Archives) to October 11, 2000 to see more ------------>