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Tuesday, July 12, 2011

Big News! Golfer Learned Something

Golfer Rory McIlroy dumped girlfriend Holly Sweeney, "to focus on his golf game". "To focus on his golf game." was believed to be a thinly disguised code for his true desire, "to have sex with a lot of other women". Then he quickly changed his mind went back to Holly and begged her for another chance. Then he won the U.S. Open. Now he talks a great deal about his love affair with Holly in some stupid documentary about the stupid sport of golf. I had the misfortune of reading about it and it triggered my mental illness.






He must really love her to be turning down all that varied and prized, poontang.






OR his agent took him aside and said "Get back with her so you can tell America, "SEE? I'M A BETTER GOLFER THAN TIGER WOODS."



I don't sex with hookers and strippers.



I only sex with real ladies and I love it.


"WHERE ARE MY ENDORSEMENTS FOR BEING A GOOD GUY?"


Nike? Gatorade?


Kleenex?


Remember the curse of the Tiger, young golfer, and beware!






Rory's girlfriend is one lucky woman, now she can go back to having sex with her dopey ugly x-x-boyfriend whenever he wants to squeeze her in.




PRAY SHE GETS A RING!
Every gal wants to be an accessory, FOREVER,
to a rich, red-faced, nothing.




What a catch a rich, golfer is.
To think, she had the chance to "catch him" TWICE!



She gets to experience the joy of picking up his plaid pants from the dry cleaners
and stain-guarding the pits on his polo shirts.



I WISH I WAS HER, in love, and in an evening gown,
towering over a sub-standard sexual specimen like this Romeo.



It must be SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO HOT to have sex with the man who threw you to the curb because he was not smart enough to juggle playing golf and having sex with you after you cook him dinner a few nights a week!!!!



Imagine being loved, and dumped, and retrieved to be loved again, by a wanna-be stud who failed at his dream of scoring with every money-hungry, starphucking, vagina he could. He could have gotten VD or AIDS, but instead he got you. Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!



This news story taught me a great deal about love and romance. In the golf world some men are really dumb and some women are too dumb or smart to realize it.