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Wednesday, February 6, 2013

Beyonce, Lip Synching, Power Outages and The Death of the American Soul

When I first saw Beyonce's performance of the National Anthem at the United States Presidential Inauguration I thought it was a grand tribute in spite of her ridiculous giant green earrings. Then I found out she lip synched and it really fucking pissed me off! Here is why it should piss you off too:

What would happen to America if all of us just faked it at work like Beyonce?

What would happen if farmers just pretended to farm and bus drivers just pretended to drive and surgeons just pretended to do surgery? What if scientists just pretended to do studies and safety inspectors just pretended to look closely and pilots just pretended to fly? What if firemen just pretended to use their hoses and bodyguards pretended to know martial arts and construction workers just pretended to bolt all the parts of a building together? What if trash collectors just pretended to pick up the trash? What if President Obama just pretended to give a damn about this country?

We have a lot of hard work to do in America and it's really hard work, and it's back breaking work for many people. Much of the work that's done everyday by millions of people is crucial, essential, thankless, loveless, monotonous work that they have to do just to feed their families and stay alive. This is the kind of hardship we foist on the people who really do the work that keeps us functioning as a society.

Beyonce gets to sing and dance for the most glittering living possible. She gets paid millions of dollars every year because hardworking people in the paragraph above and below this one made her 'top of the food chain' because they invested in her talent. THAT IS WHY Beyonce has a responsibility to be worthy of the tremendous outpouring of her fan's hopes and dreams by putting her ass on the line, when she accepts a live gig, by opening her mouth and singing for her supper like the rest of us have to! She was invited to display her talent at the ultimate celebration to herald our President, our democratic process, and our collective determination to champion some of the most important life sustaining values ever prescribed into law and she faked it. What kind of soulless, money-sucking creep do you have to be to do that and not see how fucking gross that is? The only thing more lame than Beyonce faking it at the Inauguration was the high profile sycophants who publicly defended her right to do whatever she wants because she is "so hot".

Millions of people in this country are overworked and underpaid while working several jobs. Most people live paycheck to paycheck and are struggling just to get by. They have no chance to 'fake it' and still be employed and beloved by all who know them. 'Regular people' get their faces dragged through the shittiest realities with no hope in sight.  Their bosses show them no mercy and if they make one mistake their whole world comes crashing down around them and they would have nothing to save them or their families from hell on Earth.

Beyonce gets overpaid to be a singer and she doesn't even have the courage to risk hitting the wrong note in a moment of heartfelt, deep, true, sincere, human affection for the nation and people that made her rich?  Well then, Miss Beyonce is not a powerful woman AT ALL, she is such a terrified, fragile, artificial beauty that she cannot allow her image of absolute perfection to be contaminated by any human realness–ever! God forbid her voice should crack when she hits the high notes while singing "Land of the free and the home of the brave."!! What if Beyonce's voice cracked while she was up there? WTF? OMG! She would only have millions of dollars, luxuriously decorated mansions, cars, planes and boats to go home to until–the next gig.  The Super Bowl.

But before we go to the Super Bowl with Beyonce, remember what I have said so far:
For someone to lip synch the National Anthem
at the Inauguration
of The President of the United States,
the leader of the country,
the person who has to stand up
and REALLY do something
in the tumultuous wake of more pressures than I can imagine,
to lip synch
as you wish the President well on the next four years
is a foul and gutless act.
It is a scandalous act.
It is an act of hypocrisy and cowardice that should bring deep shame to the person who dares to masquerade in this way.

But there is no time for shame, for someone as hot as Beyonce!

The Super Bowl is a gig with real money on the line, this is a gig where people are actually tuned in, sitting at attention in front of their TV's ready to be wowed with the things that really matter; over-produced beer commercials, ridiculously sentimental car commercials, women in tiny skirts jumping around like idiots for the tiny screaming dots in the crowd that paid $1,000 a seat for the chance to be there, live in the cold, cheering themselves voiceless for men who try to kill each other during an elaborate game of "catch" while the benched players make their hometowns proud from the sidelines by spitting on the ground and grabbing their teammates' asses and cocks.

Beyonce was in her element at the Super Bowl. Like a good whore honoring the Overlords of the White Male Dominated Capitalist Machine that ensnares us all, Beyonce showed up at the Super Bowl in skimpy leathery & lace lingerie, pimped out her two sisters to make the offerings more worthy of our corporate slavemasters, and she SANG her heart out, for real. (I think.) She sang and she danced, and made fun of the fact that she didn't sing at the inauguration, and she gyrated and she pouted. She spread her legs and bent over backwards with her holy vulva reaching out to the crowd, inviting the people to climb inside to get out of the cold, while a spectacular fireworks show erupted all around her, illuminting giant holograms of 10 Beyonces and massive neon depictions of HER OWN FACE flanking her on both sides with electric hair extensions taking up the rest of the field, waving like a technological miracle. Then Beyonce finished singing. She closed her legs, got up off the ground, said good night, took her hot ass off the field, and went backstage smiling like a victor to piles of fresh flowers and the adoration of the people in her entourage.
Then the lights went out.

Then the lights went out at the Super Bowl.

All the the players and fans were plunged into darkness.

Beyonce's big show for us, in honor of herself, had blown a fuse because the electricians in charge of the lights didn't really know how to keep them on after such an expensive and selfish display of 'Me Me Me'. I bet someone will be fired for letting that happen. It won't be Beyonce, though. It will be someone with a blue collar.

The Super Bowl Blackout is NOT Beyonce's fault. It's our fault.
It's our fault that we literally put all our working class energy into people who take it all into themselves and give us nothing back but more chances to worship them.

The Super Bowl blackout is a metaphor for how bad we are all selling ourselves out, America.
You can ignore it, if you want.
You can keep accepting singers that don't really sing
and politicians who don't really care.

It's your country, do what you want with it.
Or you can just pretend it's your country.
Or you can pretend to do what you want with it.
Whatever, it doesn't matter.
Just pretend to finish reading this.
The world is your oyster, if you are willing to be a big phony.